Dear Granny,

I am addicted to the soap operas on this here TV. My man thinks they are such a waste of time. One afternoon, he was home when my soaps came on. He pulled the fuse out of the breaker box and hid the fuse, so I did not have juice to watch my soaps. How can I fix get my TV back on?

Soap opera fan

 Dear Soapy fan,

First of all, you need to buy you some spare fuses. But this is what worked for my grandmother back when there was no electric to her house. In order to listen to the radio, she hooked a couple of wires up to the car battery and then to the radio. You could get you some small cables (hardware store man really should understand your request) and do the same to your TV. I bet when your man has a few dead batteries in his car, you might get your soap operas back on.

P.S. I asked the waiter, “Is this milk fresh?” He said, “Lady, three hours ago it was grass.”

Dear Granny,

Is it a sin to tell just a few white lies?

Worried white liar

Dear Worried,

A couple of Sunday’s ago, Brother Smiley at the church here in the holler told his congregation he was going to preach about the sin of lying next the Sunday. For our homework that week, he told us all to read Mark 17. The next Sunday, when he got up to preach, he first asked everyone who had Mark 17 to raise their hands? All our hands went up, mine included. The reverend then smiled and said, “Mark only has 16 chapters.”

The only advice I can give you is that even in church, people will lie. Just start thinking that the truth would feel a lot better if we would just go ahead and tell it. 

 P.S. Remember this about us Southerners. The North has coffeehouses, the South has Waffle Houses. The North has cream of wheat, the South has grits.

 Send your requests to: Granny’s Advice, Richmond Register: PO Box 99, Richmond, KY 40476. Or you can email her c/o news@richmondregister.com

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