Ask Dr. Politics! You are fair, and we are unbalanced!
Dear Dr. Politics: There is no sugarcoating it. The website has been working too slowly. I think it’s fair to say nobody is more upset than I am. Can you help the surge of the best and the brightest to fix the Obamacare site? Asking for a friend.
Answer: First, is your Wi-Fi router on? A lot of people forget this. They also can’t remember where their Wi-Fi router is. Yours may be in the Situation Room or in the bowling alley or underneath Joe Biden.
Second, restart your computer. But back up all the data for the entire government first. This should take no more than two or three years.
Third, are you using a laptop? If you are — and we suspect it’s a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100 — make sure the modem is working. That is the thing that goes: SQUEE-AWK ... SQUEE-AWK ... PING-PING-PING ... GRSHHHHHHH.
If you don’t hear that sound when you dial in, replace the four AA-cell batteries in the laptop. This could fix your problem, or it could trigger a nuclear launch. So be careful. Maybe you should let one of the kids do it.
Fourth, clear your cache. Those scamps from the press corps may be sneaking in to use your computer and leaving cookies behind. Consider blocking all sites that contain the words “Kardashian,” “Miley Cyrus” and “Cruz.”
Fifth, have you considered selling Obamacare door-to-door? It works great for Avon. Or you could do home parties like Mary Kay. Wouldn’t getting a pink Cadillac be totally cool?
Sixth, call Snowden.
Seventh, buy a Mac.
Dear Dr. Politics: I keep hearing that Ted Cruz, a Republican senator from Texas, may run for president in 2016. I also hear he was born in Canada and is a Canadian citizen. Doesn’t the Constitution demand that a president be a “natural born Citizen” of the United States? So how could Cruz run?
Answer: Ted Cruz’s birth certificate, which was released to The Dallas Morning News at its request in August, shows three important things:
First, Rafael Edward Cruz (now called Ted) was born Dec. 22, 1970, in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
Second, his father, Rafael Bienvenido Cruz, was born in Matanzas, Cuba.
Third, and this is very important, his mother, Eleanor Elizabeth Wilson, was born in Wilmington, Del.
At birth, Cruz became a citizen of Canada because he was born there, but he also became a “natural born” citizen of the United States, in the view of many legal experts, because his mother was a U.S. citizen. According to the newspaper, Cruz’s father came to the United States from Cuba in 1957 and remained a Cuban citizen until he became a naturalized U.S. citizen in 2005. (He was working in Canada as a “geophysical consultant” at the time of Ted’s birth.)
The family returned to the United States when Ted was 4. Catherine Frazier, Cruz’s Senate press secretary, told the Dallas paper that Cruz’s mother registered his birth with the U.S. Consulate and that Cruz got a U.S. passport without a problem in 1986 to make a high-school trip to England. “To our knowledge, he never had Canadian citizenship,” Frazier said.
The Dallas Morning News found a number of experts on Canadian and immigration law, however, who said Cruz definitely had dual citizenship with Canada. After the story appeared, Cruz issued a statement saying that he would renounce his Canadian citizenship if he “technically” ever had it. “Nothing against Canada,” he said, “but I’m an American by birth and as a U.S. senator, I believe I should be only an American.”
Cruz also said: “Given the raft of stories today about my birth certificate, it must be a slow news day.”
Yeah, well, Barack Obama had a birth certificate proving he was born in the United States, but the “birther” wackos still tried to claim he was born in Kenya, making him ineligible to be president. Except it wouldn’t have made him ineligible.
Using the legal argument that now helps Cruz, Obama would have been a “natural born” citizen of the United States even if he had been born in Kenya, because his mother was a U.S. citizen. (In any case, Obama was born in Honolulu.)
So, in the opinion of Dr. Politics, Cruz is a “natural born” U.S. citizen and could legally become president of the United States.
Unless Donald Trump can’t find his mother’s birth certificate.
Dear Dr. Politics: I hear that Congress keeps “kicking the can down the road.” Why would anyone kick a can? And why would he do it down the road, where he could get run over?
Answer: “Kick the can” was a popular game in the early years of last century and still is played by members of Congress. The way Congress plays it, one member is stuffed into a large aluminum trash can, and the others kick it repeatedly as it rolls around the roads on Capitol Hill. At the end of a half-hour or so, the member emerges from the can so discombobulated that he will vote for or against anything. This is called “party discipline” or “the end of democracy as we know it.”
Ask Dr. Politics! You are fair, and we are unbalanced!
Starting over at Head Start
All I ever wanted to be was a journalist. Having worked on my high school and college newspapers, I knew it was the career for me.
I love talking to people, listening to their stories, being creative every day and experiencing new things. But as you know, news happens outside the hours of 9 to 5, and my job here at the Register rarely stayed within that time frame.
They don’t make strawberries as they did back in the old days
I’m not inclined to go through my archives at the moment, but it almost feels like the column I’m about to write has almost become an annual thing over the years.
At least I know for sure that that this is not the first time that memories of picking strawberries there on Blair Branch on hot days in June has triggered this keyboard about this time of year.
I grew up on a little subsistence, hillside farm deep in the mountains of eastern Kentucky, among the coalfields near the Virginia line.
Baby boomers have let technology rob their grandchildren of the joys of youth
When I was growing up, it was not uncommon to see fathers and sons along creek banks fishing together or in the woods hunting squirrels or pitching horse shoes or even shooting marbles late in the afternoon in the cool hours before dark.
Dads were teaching kids to play the games they grew up with. Little girls, learned from mothers,how to skip rope, play with jacks or play hopscotch.
No Lincoln or Douglas in this debate
Remember the famous slap-down in the 1988 vice presidential debate when Republican Dan Quayle compared his youth and limited government experience to those of John Kennedy’s when Kennedy ran for president?
His Democratic opponent, Texas Sen. Lloyd Bentsen, acidly replied: “I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”
Senate campaign already in full bloom
Any hope for a respite in the U.S. Senate campaign following Tuesday’s primary disappeared immediately.
Mitch McConnell and Alison Lundergan Grimes came out swinging in victory speeches which sounded like campaign kickoffs.
McConnell commended Matt Bevin on “a tough (primary) race” and appealed to Bevin supporters to unite behind his re-election bid. That will be hard for Bevin and those who backed him.
‘Taxpayer-eaters’ meet ‘self-serving politician-eaters’
What some candidates could gain in this year’s election – beyond just winning office – is a stark reminder of how wrong political leaders were when declaring last year they had adequately addressed Kentucky’s public-pension crisis.
Instead, legislators with serious courage deficiencies failed to agree on reforms beyond what they believe are “politically feasible.”
Step Out, Step up for Diabetes Association
Six weeks ago when I wrote here announcing the 2014 Edition of Team TKO’s American Diabetes Association, Step Out Walk Team, several dozen of you readers sent generous donations to sponsor grandson Tyler Kane Ochs (TKO) and me in the walk that takes place, rain or shine, in the mud or not, at Keeneland on the morning of May 31.
Another several dozen of you either called, emailed or dropped a card in regular mail and asked that I remind you again “after the holidays” (Easter and Mother’s Day).
Hitting the campaign trail
The most watched race in the country ? the battle for the U.S. Senate seat now held by Republican Mitch McConnell ? has so far produced a bevy of charges and not much substance.
We haven’t seen that much of McConnell or his likely Democratic opponent Alison Lundergan Grimes out on the campaign trail.
McConnell’s primary opponent Matt Bevin has been much more active and visible, but his performance hasn’t enhanced his chances.
The case of the scary black cat
If Margie didn’t believe that black cats were the harbinger of bad luck, she certainly believed it when a black cat brushed against her leg while she was leaning over a large trash can burning garbage one late afternoon.
Startled by the sudden appearance of the feline, Margie opened her mouth wide and let out a blood-curdling scream that could have awakened Count Dracula himself.
Basking in the spring sunshine
If you had asked me, as recently as two weeks ago, to make a list of things I expected to see on the first Monday in May of 2014, two of the things that I actually did see would not have been on the list, even if you’d required that it contain at least 500 items.
I’d have been a bit skeptical about Ralph’s purple asparagus and his gorgeous snowball bush, both of which came through most admirably. And I would have had my doubts about the poppies that have been in our back yard for several generations and the bearded German Iris that Jeanette Todd gave us more than two decades ago. It faithfully stuns us there at the corner of the front porch every spring, but there they were, basking in absolute glory as the sun set Monday afternoon.
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