The Richmond Register

August 19, 2013

Kids are so funny, but so smart

By Dick Ham


I was just thinking the other day about how smart kids are, but how funny some of their ideas are. If you stop and think about these, they actually make sense.

A lady rolled her elderly father in a wheelchair into the waiting room of a physician’s office. She left him and walked to the reception desk. As she was doing that, a small boy walked over to the man’s wheelchair, placed his hand on the man’s hand and said to him, “I know how you feel. My mom sometimes makes me ride in a stroller too.”

A grandmother was out bicycling with her 8-year-old granddaughter. She looked over at the child and said, “In ten years you’ll want to be with your friends and won’t go walking, biking and swimming with me like you do now.”

The child shrugged and answered, “In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway.”

A pediatric nurse was giving immunization shots to children. She started to give -year-old Lizzie her shot, and Lizzie screamed, “No, No, No.”

“Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite.”

With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No thank you!”

A dad and his son were in the car returning from a Cub Scout meeting. The boy innocently said to his dad, “Dad, I know babies come from Mommie’s tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?”

Dad hemmed and hawed awhile and the boy finally spoke again.

“Dad, you don’t have to make up something, it’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”

Just before a soldier was deployed to Iraq, he sat his 8-year-old son down and told him, “Son, I’m going to away for a long time. I’m going to Iraq.”

The boy replied, “Why do you want to go there, don’t you know there’s a war going on over there?”

The actor Paul Newman founded the Hole-in-the-Wall Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS or blood diseases. One day, he and his wife Joanne Woodward stopped to have lunch with the children. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That’s the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you’ve seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle.”

Blank stares.

“Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton?”

An 8-year-old girl spoke up.

“How long were you missing?”


In a recent Just Thinking, I wrote about things that are happening in our country that disturb me. I mentioned the bankruptcy of Detroit, Mich. I found statistics somewhere that gave the population of Detroit as 800,000. A gentleman I met took issue with that figure and insisted Detroit was no longer that large.

I went to the Internet and was unsuccessful in finding the population of Detroit, but I found Wayne County, which is where Detroit is located.

I discovered that from 2000 to 2012, the population of Wayne County had decreased by 25 percent. The figure at the end of 2012 was 711,00.

I then went to the 2013 edition of the Rand-McNally Road Atlas. That gave the population of Wayne County at the end of that year as 1,820,584 and Detroit as, 713,777.

The 2014 edition of the Rand-McNally Atlas gave Wayne County as, 1,820,584, the same as the 2013 figure. Detroit was, 713,777, also the same as 2013.

I have no idea which figures are accurate, but I assure everyone, I did not intend to give incorrect information.


If you call a dog’s tail a leg, it still has four legs. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.


What new type of book, now found in nearly every home, was introduced in New Haven, Connecticut in 1878?


When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.

– John Ruskin