The Richmond Register

October 2, 2012

Children can be very funny in school

Just Thinking

By Dick Ham
Register Columnist

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about children and the things they do and say in school that are so funny. I can only imagine what this teacher in a Christian school thought as he/she read the answers these youngsters included on their papers. Pay special attention to the wording and the spelling. Even if you are only slightly knowledgeable about the Bible, you’ll find these to be hilarious.

These children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following are the answers they gave. They have not been retouched or corrected and incorrect spelling has been left in.

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and Ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

4. The Jews were proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

7. Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

8. Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the 10 commandments.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David played the liar and fought the Finklesteins.

14. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. Three wise guys found Jesus in the manger.

16. Jesus was born because Mary had a miraculous contraption.

17. Jesus said do unto others before they can do one to you.

18. The people who followed the Lord were called 12 decibels.

19. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity and preached acrimony which is another name for marriage.

20. Christians have only one spouse. That is called monotony.

Trivia answer – The Blue ridge Parkway connects the Shenandoah and Great Smoky Mountains National  Parks.

Trivia question – What major city on the Mississippi river was named for King Louis IX of France?

Thought for the day – “PRAYER – The world’s greatest wireless connection.”