The Richmond Register

Lifestyles & Community

October 2, 2012

Children can be very funny in school

Just Thinking

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about children and the things they do and say in school that are so funny. I can only imagine what this teacher in a Christian school thought as he/she read the answers these youngsters included on their papers. Pay special attention to the wording and the spelling. Even if you are only slightly knowledgeable about the Bible, you’ll find these to be hilarious.

These children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following are the answers they gave. They have not been retouched or corrected and incorrect spelling has been left in.

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and Ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

4. The Jews were proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

7. Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

8. Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the 10 commandments.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David played the liar and fought the Finklesteins.

14. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. Three wise guys found Jesus in the manger.

16. Jesus was born because Mary had a miraculous contraption.

17. Jesus said do unto others before they can do one to you.

18. The people who followed the Lord were called 12 decibels.

19. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity and preached acrimony which is another name for marriage.

20. Christians have only one spouse. That is called monotony.

Trivia answer – The Blue ridge Parkway connects the Shenandoah and Great Smoky Mountains National  Parks.

Trivia question – What major city on the Mississippi river was named for King Louis IX of France?

Thought for the day – “PRAYER – The world’s greatest wireless connection.”

1
Text Only
Lifestyles & Community
  • 7-29 Nostalgia-Glenmore.jpg Paper boys learned life, business lessons

    I often flash back to the days from the mid to late 1930s when I was a paper boy.
    There were 10 or 12 of us who rolled out of bed at 5 a.m. every day, jumped on our bicycles and headed downtown to the Glyndon Hotel and picked up our papers for delivery.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg Here’s why teachers aren’t paid enough

    The following were included in last year’s exams and were answered by 16-year-old high school students. The answers are genuine, and we must remember that these youngsters will grow up to vote, marry and become parents. It’s a scary thought.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • 7-24 4-H Entries 1.jpg 4-H exhibits are family affair for the Houstons

    Five children from the same family were the first to bring their 4-H exhibits Wednesday to the Madison County Fairgrounds.

    July 24, 2014 5 Photos

  • 7-22 Band Camp 1.jpg Band students ‛take over’ MCHS campus

    The Madison Central High School campus has been “taken over” for two weeks by 170 students attending band camp.

    July 21, 2014 6 Photos

  • Dr-Jack-Rutherford.jpg Warning labels needed on energy drinks

    The popularity of energy drinks has soared since they entered the marketplace, but at least one consumer group wants the FDA to order warnings on product labels.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Donna-Moberly.jpg Full Gospel ‛Back to School Bash’ is Aug. 2

    Hello everyone.
    I guess everyone is asking, “How much rain did we get?”

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Katie-Rollins.jpg Thank the Lord for the rain

    Hello readers, it’s a stormy Monday evening as I write this, and I’ve been thanking the Lord all day for the good rain – over an inch in the gauge now, and it looks like more before morning.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Paula-Jones-c.jpg Rain has helped lawns, gardens

    Hello from Baldwin.
    How is everyone’s week going? I hope everyone is having a great one.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Can you believe such cool weather in mid July?

    Hi!
    Refreshing. That’s the word one TV weatherman described the upcoming days when temperatures will be in the 70s with virtually no humidity and lots of sunshine. Can you believe that in the middle of July? We can live with that, can’t we? We may even get close to setting a record for morning lows later this week. This has certainly been the year for strange weather!
     

    July 17, 2014

  • Tim-Jones.jpg Union City Baptist VBS July 20-25

    Union City Baptist Church will have vacation Bible school July 20-25, 6 to 9 p.m., with classes from age 3 through high school. The theme is “Agency D3 Needs You.” Contact Brenda Parke, or call the church at 623-2845 for more information.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Looming Demand Could Undercut Flight Safety Raw: 2 Shells Hit Fuel Tank at Gaza Power Plant Raw: Massive Explosions From Airstrikes in Gaza Giant Ketchup Bottle Water Tower Up for Sale Easier Nuclear Construction Promises Fall Short Kerry: Humanitarian Cease-fire Efforts Continue Raw: Corruption Trial Begins for Former Va Gov. The Carbon Trap: US Exports Global Warming UN Security Council Calls for Gaza Cease-fire Traditional African Dishes Teach Healthy Eating 13 Struck by Lightning on Calif. Beach Baseball Hall of Famers Inducted Israel, Hamas Trade Fire Despite Truce in Gaza Italy's Nibali Set to Win First Tour De France Raw: Shipwrecked Concordia Completes Last Voyage Raw: Sea Turtle Hatchlings Emerge From Nest Raw: Massive Dust Storm Covers Phoenix 12-hour Cease-fire in Gaza Fighting Begins Raw: Bolivian Dancers Attempt to Break Record Raw: Israel, Palestine Supporters Rally in US
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Poll

Should Madison County’s three local governing bodies ban smoking in indoor public places?

Yes
No
     View Results