The Richmond Register

Lifestyles & Community

July 29, 2013

Eating can be an adventure, especially for seniors

RICHMOND —

I was just thinking the other day about what an adventure eating can be for seniors.

First of all, we try to eat things that are good for us. Then we eat out on occasion and that can really be an adventure.

An audience of seniors was attending a lecture by a health care expert. A part of her lecture included:

“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Some exotic foods are loaded with MSG. High-fat diets are disastrous. There are numerous germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone tell me which food causes the most grief and suffering for years?

After several seconds of silence, a 75 year old man raised his hand and softly said, “Wedding cake.”

 Many of us have discovered the “A” diet. It is designed to make us healthy and dictates that we eat only foods that begin with the letter “a,” a steak, a hamburger, a hotdog, a large order of French fries, a large ice cream sundae, etc.

When we were young, we came home at the end of a work day and asked, “What’s cooking?” Now we ask, “What’s thawing?”

We’ve also discovered the best way to lose weight. We eat all we want of everything we don’t like.

 An elderly couple noticed an advertisement in their local newspaper. A small diner was offering a special $2.99 breakfast. It was for two eggs, bacon, hash browns, gravy and a biscuit.

The husband said, “That sounds almost too good to be true, I think we need to try it.”

The wife agreed so they got up one morning and made their way to the diner.

The waitress came to their table and the wife told her she would like to have the $2.99 special, but she said, “I don’t like eggs so leave them off.

The waitress replied, “Then I’ll have to charge you $3.49.”

“Do you mean I must pay extra for not taking eggs?” the wife said.

“Yes, that means you are ordering a la carte and that is more expensive,” the waitress said.

“Alright, let me have the special as is,” the wife told her.

“How do you want your eggs?” The waitress asked.

“Raw and in the shell,” the wife explained.

She took the eggs home and used them to bake a cake.

Don’t mess with seniors! We’ve been around the block more than once.

Two old men were having breakfast at a diner. “I went out with Rachel last night,” one said.

“How’d that go?” The other asked.

“She made me feel like I was 17 again,” the first man said.

“Excited and full of love?” The other asked.

“No, totally ignored and home by nine.”

Something we’ve discovered. The older we get the harder it is to lose weight.

The reason is, our bodies and our fat have become good friends.

Text Only
Lifestyles & Community
  • Brandon-Sears-c.jpg Beef Cattle Association field day is Thursday

    Make plans to attend the Madison County Beef Cattle Association field day on Thursday from 5 to 7:30 p.m. The event will take place at the farm of Dr. Eugene Bowling, 1437 Barnes Mill Road in Richmond. Signs will be posted.
    This meeting qualifies as a CAIP educational component.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • 04.23 JessaTurner1.jpg Eat local and eat with the seasons

    This week marks the 44th anniversary of Earth Day, and what could be more important to our survival than clean air, clean water and clean food?

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Amanda-Sears-c.jpg Proper care enables planting of Easter lilies

    Did you receive or purchase an Easter lily? If so, be sure to treat it right and you will be able to plant it outside this spring.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Lisa Adams.jpg 4-H Camping Season Nears

    Hopefully, we have seen the last of the snow for the year, so now is the time for young people and their parents to begin making plans for an annual summer ritual, 4-H Camp.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg These things cause me concern for the future

    I was just thinking the other day about things that are happening in this country that do not bode well for the future.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • WP_20140419_001.jpg Cruisin’ with the Oldies

    With the sound of classic songs wafting through the air Saturday, hundreds of people took advantage of the summer-like temperatures and turned out for the Kirksville Community Center car show.

    April 21, 2014 9 Photos

  • 04.18 Food .jpg It’s egg party time

    I love this time of the year because eggs really do go down in price during the Easter season. I have some new recipes on how to fix eggs besides the coloring part.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • 04.18 Steaks.jpg Where’s the beef?

    Today, the American consumer has more money to spend on the widest variety of foods than at any other time in our history.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • 4.15 Eggstravaganza 1.jpg Easter bunny's ‛eggbeater’ will fly eggs to Richmond

    Who knew the Easter bunny could fly?

    Skeptics can come to the Easter Eggstravaganza in Richmond’s Irvine-McDowell Park on Saturday to see for themselves. However, the bunny still doesn’t fly in bad weather. But on Monday, temperatures in the 60s with partly cloudy skies were predicted for Saturday.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg We old folks have unique experiences

    A friend sent this to me by e-mail, and I thought my readers would enjoy it.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Poll

Should Richmond rezone the southwest corner of Main Street and Tates Creek Avenue to B-1 (Neighborhood Business) with restrictions to allow construction of a financial services office?

Yes
No
     View Results