I was just thinking the other day about what an adventure eating can be for seniors.
First of all, we try to eat things that are good for us. Then we eat out on occasion and that can really be an adventure.
An audience of seniors was attending a lecture by a health care expert. A part of her lecture included:
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Some exotic foods are loaded with MSG. High-fat diets are disastrous. There are numerous germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone tell me which food causes the most grief and suffering for years?
After several seconds of silence, a 75 year old man raised his hand and softly said, “Wedding cake.”
Many of us have discovered the “A” diet. It is designed to make us healthy and dictates that we eat only foods that begin with the letter “a,” a steak, a hamburger, a hotdog, a large order of French fries, a large ice cream sundae, etc.
When we were young, we came home at the end of a work day and asked, “What’s cooking?” Now we ask, “What’s thawing?”
We’ve also discovered the best way to lose weight. We eat all we want of everything we don’t like.
An elderly couple noticed an advertisement in their local newspaper. A small diner was offering a special $2.99 breakfast. It was for two eggs, bacon, hash browns, gravy and a biscuit.
The husband said, “That sounds almost too good to be true, I think we need to try it.”
The wife agreed so they got up one morning and made their way to the diner.
The waitress came to their table and the wife told her she would like to have the $2.99 special, but she said, “I don’t like eggs so leave them off.
The waitress replied, “Then I’ll have to charge you $3.49.”
“Do you mean I must pay extra for not taking eggs?” the wife said.
“Yes, that means you are ordering a la carte and that is more expensive,” the waitress said.
“Alright, let me have the special as is,” the wife told her.
“How do you want your eggs?” The waitress asked.
“Raw and in the shell,” the wife explained.
She took the eggs home and used them to bake a cake.
Don’t mess with seniors! We’ve been around the block more than once.
Two old men were having breakfast at a diner. “I went out with Rachel last night,” one said.
“How’d that go?” The other asked.
“She made me feel like I was 17 again,” the first man said.
“Excited and full of love?” The other asked.
“No, totally ignored and home by nine.”
Something we’ve discovered. The older we get the harder it is to lose weight.
The reason is, our bodies and our fat have become good friends.
- Lifestyles & Community
Band students ‛take over’ MCHS campus
The Madison Central High School campus has been “taken over” for two weeks by 170 students attending band camp.
Warning labels needed on energy drinks
The popularity of energy drinks has soared since they entered the marketplace, but at least one consumer group wants the FDA to order warnings on product labels.
Full Gospel ‛Back to School Bash’ is Aug. 2
I guess everyone is asking, “How much rain did we get?”
Thank the Lord for the rain
Hello readers, it’s a stormy Monday evening as I write this, and I’ve been thanking the Lord all day for the good rain – over an inch in the gauge now, and it looks like more before morning.
Rain has helped lawns, gardens
Hello from Baldwin.
How is everyone’s week going? I hope everyone is having a great one.
Can you believe such cool weather in mid July?
Refreshing. That’s the word one TV weatherman described the upcoming days when temperatures will be in the 70s with virtually no humidity and lots of sunshine. Can you believe that in the middle of July? We can live with that, can’t we? We may even get close to setting a record for morning lows later this week. This has certainly been the year for strange weather!
Union City Baptist VBS July 20-25
Union City Baptist Church will have vacation Bible school July 20-25, 6 to 9 p.m., with classes from age 3 through high school. The theme is “Agency D3 Needs You.” Contact Brenda Parke, or call the church at 623-2845 for more information.
Local, regional products are carefully selected for Berea College Farm Store
A lot of thought and consideration goes into the product selection for the Berea College Farm Store.
Kentucky beef cattle market remains strong
The feeder cattle market shows no sign of weakness and seems to shrug off most anything that could potentially be seen as negative.
Planning for fall vegetables in the garden
It’s time to start planning how to continue enjoying your garden and even add new plantings.
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