I was just thinking the other day about what an adventure eating can be for seniors.
First of all, we try to eat things that are good for us. Then we eat out on occasion and that can really be an adventure.
An audience of seniors was attending a lecture by a health care expert. A part of her lecture included:
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Some exotic foods are loaded with MSG. High-fat diets are disastrous. There are numerous germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone tell me which food causes the most grief and suffering for years?
After several seconds of silence, a 75 year old man raised his hand and softly said, “Wedding cake.”
Many of us have discovered the “A” diet. It is designed to make us healthy and dictates that we eat only foods that begin with the letter “a,” a steak, a hamburger, a hotdog, a large order of French fries, a large ice cream sundae, etc.
When we were young, we came home at the end of a work day and asked, “What’s cooking?” Now we ask, “What’s thawing?”
We’ve also discovered the best way to lose weight. We eat all we want of everything we don’t like.
An elderly couple noticed an advertisement in their local newspaper. A small diner was offering a special $2.99 breakfast. It was for two eggs, bacon, hash browns, gravy and a biscuit.
The husband said, “That sounds almost too good to be true, I think we need to try it.”
The wife agreed so they got up one morning and made their way to the diner.
The waitress came to their table and the wife told her she would like to have the $2.99 special, but she said, “I don’t like eggs so leave them off.
The waitress replied, “Then I’ll have to charge you $3.49.”
“Do you mean I must pay extra for not taking eggs?” the wife said.
“Yes, that means you are ordering a la carte and that is more expensive,” the waitress said.
“Alright, let me have the special as is,” the wife told her.
“How do you want your eggs?” The waitress asked.
“Raw and in the shell,” the wife explained.
She took the eggs home and used them to bake a cake.
Don’t mess with seniors! We’ve been around the block more than once.
Two old men were having breakfast at a diner. “I went out with Rachel last night,” one said.
“How’d that go?” The other asked.
“She made me feel like I was 17 again,” the first man said.
“Excited and full of love?” The other asked.
“No, totally ignored and home by nine.”
Something we’ve discovered. The older we get the harder it is to lose weight.
The reason is, our bodies and our fat have become good friends.
- Lifestyles & Community
Easter bunny's ‛eggbeater’ will fly eggs to Richmond
Who knew the Easter bunny could fly?
Skeptics can come to the Easter Eggstravaganza in Richmond’s Irvine-McDowell Park on Saturday to see for themselves. However, the bunny still doesn’t fly in bad weather. But on Monday, temperatures in the 60s with partly cloudy skies were predicted for Saturday.
We old folks have unique experiences
A friend sent this to me by e-mail, and I thought my readers would enjoy it.
Hope’s Wings volunteers need your help today
Help a local resident “get out of jail,” and in turn help men, women and children break the cycle of domestic violence in Madison and surrounding counties.
Bereans named Foster Parents of Year, Outstanding Adoptive Parent
Stephanie and Doug Gillum of Berea will be honored as Foster Parents of the Year tonight during an appreciation reception at the Kentucky Horse Park.
Puppet parade planned Saturday in Berea
The city of Berea will be celebrating Puppets in the Park on Saturday as part of the National Day of Puppetry.
Animal group seeks volunteers to assist with spay/neuter clinic
The Madison County Humane Society/Animal League for Life is reaching out to the community for help with its low-cost spay and neuter clinic.
The clinic, which operates at the HS/ALL adoption center at 128-C Big Hill Avenue, has spayed or neutered more than 2,000 dogs and cats since it opened in July 2012, according to volunteer Lynn Grove.
State funding to help keep domestic violence shelter open
Money for Madison County domestic violence intervention in the recently passed $20 billion state budget will be used to keep the Hope’s Wings shelter open.
The budget bill now awaits the governor’s signature.
Pets of the Week
This week's cat is Jett, a neutered and front declawed 5-year-old male.
This week's dog is Ace, a 2-year-old male Chihuahua mix.
Expanded Local Foods Expo is Saturday in Berea
The annual Local Foods Expo, sponsored by Sustainable Berea, has outgrown its humble beginnings, a workshop with 40 attendees five years ago.
This year’s event is from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday on the lawn of the Berea Welcome Center (old L&N Depot) in Old Town on Broadway.
Diabetes walk Saturday at YMCA
The Stepping Out for Diabetes 2014 walk will start 11 a.m. Saturday at the Telford YMCA, 1100 E. Main St., Richmond.
- More Lifestyles & Community Headlines
- Easter bunny's ‛eggbeater’ will fly eggs to Richmond