The Richmond Register

Lifestyles & Community

October 30, 2012

Being old can be very difficult

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about how difficult it is for those of us who are old. We have a very hard time just surviving.

An elderly lady was speeding down the highway. A police officer stopped her, walked up to her car and requested her to show him her driver’s license. She replied, “I don’t have to have a license.”

The officer asked, “Why don’t you have to have a license?”

“I’m too old,” she replied.

“Lady, everyone who drives must have a driver’s license,” the officer said.

“My Doctor says I don’t need a license,” the lady said.

“I don’t understand why your doctor would tell you that, exactly what did he tell you? The patrolman asked.. “My doctor examined me, then asked for my driver’s License. I handed it to him, he took it and with his scissors cut it into small pieces and said, ‘You won’t need this anymore.’”

An old lady was getting ready to go to the grocery store. She couldn’t remember one item she had intended to get until she looked in the mirror. Then she said, “prunes!”

A distraught senior citizen called his doctor’s office. “Is it true,” he wanted to know, “the medication you prescribed for me must be taken for the rest of my life?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told him.

There was a long silence, then the man asked, “Then I’m wondering just how serious my condition is, because this prescription is marked, ‘NO REFILLS!’”

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery. He had insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” The son asked. “Don’t be nervous son; just do your best but remember, if it doesn’t go well, your mother will come to live with you and your wife.”

We old folks are concerned with health issues. We try to eat properly, exercise, and do the things that will improve our lives and help us stay as strong and active as possible.

That brings up the following thoughts and questions:

1. If walking is good for your health, a postal service letter carriers would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day,  eats only fish, (never fried) drinks only water, yet is awfully fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops constantly and yet lives only 15 years.

4. A tortoise never runs, does almost nothing and lives for 450 years.

In spite of those things we are told we must exercise?

Many of us take a variety of medications, some prescribed and others from over the counter. We take vitamins, supplements, some in the form of pills, others are liquid, etc. With that in mind, think about the following:

A row of bottles on my shelf caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop goes to my heart so it won’t stop.

A little white one that I take goes to my hands so they won’t shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot tell me I’m happy when I’m not.

The purple pill goes to my brain and tells me that I have no pain

Such an array of brilliant pills, helping to cure all kinds of ills.

But what I’d really like to know ... what tells each one just where to go.

Author unknown

Trivia answer

The city that is often called “The City of Brotherly Shove” because of it’s perceived rudeness, is New York City. Whether the rudeness is real or only imaginary is a matter of opinion.

Trivia question

Who was the first U.S. President to use the phrase, “this nation under God?”

Thought for the day

If you really want to lose weight, there are three things you must give up — breakfast, lunch and  dinner.

Text Only
Lifestyles & Community
  • 04.18 Food .jpg It’s egg party time

    I love this time of the year because eggs really do go down in price during the Easter season. I have some new recipes on how to fix eggs besides the coloring part.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • 04.18 Steaks.jpg Where’s the beef?

    Today, the American consumer has more money to spend on the widest variety of foods than at any other time in our history.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • 4.15 Eggstravaganza 1.jpg Easter bunny's ‛eggbeater’ will fly eggs to Richmond

    Who knew the Easter bunny could fly?

    Skeptics can come to the Easter Eggstravaganza in Richmond’s Irvine-McDowell Park on Saturday to see for themselves. However, the bunny still doesn’t fly in bad weather. But on Monday, temperatures in the 60s with partly cloudy skies were predicted for Saturday.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg We old folks have unique experiences

    A friend sent this to me by e-mail, and I thought my readers would enjoy it.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Hope’s Wings volunteers need your help today

    Help a local resident “get out of jail,” and in turn help men, women and children break the cycle of domestic violence in Madison and surrounding counties.

    April 11, 2014

  • 4-11 FosterParentYear.jpg Bereans named Foster Parents of Year, Outstanding Adoptive Parent

    Stephanie and Doug Gillum of Berea will be honored as Foster Parents of the Year tonight during an appreciation reception at the Kentucky Horse Park.

    April 10, 2014 2 Photos

  • 4-11 PuppetryFILE.jpg Puppet parade planned Saturday in Berea

    The city of Berea will be celebrating Puppets in the Park on Saturday as part of the National Day of Puppetry.

    April 10, 2014 1 Photo

  • Animal group seeks volunteers to assist with spay/neuter clinic

    The Madison County Humane Society/Animal League for Life is reaching out to the community for help with its low-cost spay and neuter clinic.
    The clinic, which operates at the HS/ALL adoption center at 128-C Big Hill Avenue, has spayed or neutered more than 2,000 dogs and cats since it opened in July 2012, according to volunteer Lynn Grove.

    April 3, 2014

  • State funding to help keep domestic violence shelter open

    Money for Madison County domestic violence intervention in the recently passed $20 billion state budget will be used to keep the Hope’s Wings shelter open.
    The budget bill now awaits the governor’s signature.

    April 2, 2014

  • 3-29 PetsofWeek1.jpg Pets of the Week

    This week's cat is Jett, a neutered and front declawed 5-year-old male.

    This week's dog is Ace, a 2-year-old male Chihuahua mix.

    March 29, 2014 2 Photos

AP Video
Captain of Sunken SKorean Ferry Arrested Raw: Fire Destroys 3 N.J. Beachfront Homes Raw: Pope Presides Over Good Friday Mass Raw: Space X Launches to Space Station Superheroes Descend on Capitol Mall Man Charged in Kansas City Highway Shootings Obama Awards Navy Football Trophy Anti-semitic Leaflets Posted in Eastern Ukraine Raw: Magnitude-7.2 Earthquake Shakes Mexico City Ceremony at MIT Remembers One of Boston's Finest Raw: Students Hurt in Colo. School Bus Crash Raw: Church Tries for Record With Chalk Jesus Raw: Faithful Celebrate Good Friday Worldwide Deadly Avalanche Sweeps Slopes of Mount Everest Police Arrest Suspect in Highway Shootings Drought Concerns May Hurt Lake Tourism Vermont Goat Meat Gives Refugees Taste of Home Calif. Investigators Re-construct Fatal Bus Cras Mayor Rob Ford Launches Re-election Campaign Appellate Court Hears Okla. Gay Marriage Case
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide

Should the Richmond City Commission stop rezoning property to allow construction of apartments?

     View Results