The Richmond Register

May 20, 2013

My! How things have changed

By Dick Ham

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about how difficult it is for those of us who are beyond middle age. Things are just not like they were when we were young.

How many of you have noticed that stairs are getting steeper, groceries are getting heavier and everything is much farther away?

People are less considerate, especially youngsters. They speak in whispers all the time. If we ask them to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves, mouthing the same silent message. Do they think we are all lip readers?

Old friends who are our same age seem so much older than we seem, and they often have aged so much they don’t even recognize us.

When we go to comb our hair or ladies to put on makeup, we realize mirrors are not even the same anymore.

Young people drive so terribly fast. We risk life and limb if we pull into traffic in front of them. It seems to me their brakes must wear out awfully fast when I see them screeching and swerving when I look in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are strange anymore. Why else would they label size 10 and 12 dresses as 18 or 20? Do they think no one will notice?

The makers of bathroom scales pull the same prank. I would never let myself weigh what appears on my scale. Do they actually think we believe that?

How about the telephone company? Is it some kind of conspiracy when they print their directory in such small print that no one could every find a number?

Here are some other things I wonder about.

1. If walking is good for your health, why are postmen not immortal?

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks only water, yet is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops all the time but lives for only 15 years.

4. A tortoise never runs and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. I don’t think I need to exercise.

A PERSONAL WORD — On Mother’s Day, Nancie and I went to church, out to eat and then made our way to Madison Central High School for the final performance of the Broadway Musical, “How to Succeed In Business Without really Trying.”

It is difficult for me to find adequate words to describe that performance. I nearly had to pinch myself over and over to remind myself this was a high school production, not a professional one.

The best thing I can think to say is: This is what we’ve come to expect from a show produced by Lisa Jury. Time and time again she has amazed us by what she accomplishes with high school youngsters.

Her choirs and vocal ensembles are absolutely tremendous, and that is made evident when they perform. I sincerely hope everyone in Madison County understands how fortunate we are to have this wonderful lady on the faculty at Madison Central.


Horse breeding is associated with Kentucky Bluegrass. (This may have been the easiest trivia question I’ve ever used.)


John Robert Marshall was born in Maysville, Ky. He graduated from UK and was married to what famous author?


Some people create happiness when they arrive, others when they go.