I was just thinking the other day about blondes. I know that doesn’t surprise anyone who reads this column on a regular basis.
I honestly believe the columns my readers enjoy most are the ones about blondes. I’ve been amazed at the number of readers who’ve asked, “When will we see another blonde column?”
A blonde had a problem with her computer and called a tech support person for assistance.
She told him she couldn’t print yellow. All other colors worked just fine.
He had her change the color print cartridge, and she told him she still couldn’t get it to print yellow. After nearly two hours of assistance over the phone, he considered having her send it in for repair. She then asked, “Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?”
A blonde was a new employee at a firm and she called the help desk and told them she was having a problem with her password.
It seemed to be unusual because every time she typed the password, stars would show up on the monitor rather than the letters she was using. The help desk technician told her those were to protect her in case someone was looking over her shoulder and trying to learn her password.
“Yeah” she said, “but they show up even when no one is standing behind me.”
A blonde took her goldfish to a veterinarian. The vet looked at the fish and said, “ It looks OK to me.” The blonde insisted she believed the fish was suffering from epilepsy.
The Vet said, “It seems calm enough to me, why do you say that?” The blonde answered, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”
A blonde arrived home from work one afternoon and as she stepped up to her door, she noticed a very large envelope lying in front of the door. The words “DO NOT BEND” were prominently displayed on it.
She spent the next two hours attempting to figure out how to pick it up.
A blonde and her husband were making plans for Christmas. The husband said, “Christmas is on Friday this year.” The blonde then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
Some tourists were visiting the Chicago Museum of Natural History. One of then asked the blonde guide, “How old are these dinosaur bones?” The blonde guide answered, “They are three million, four years and six months old.”
“That’s an awfully exact number,” said the tourist. “How do you know their age so precisely?”
The blonde answered, “The dinosaur bones were four million years old when I came to work here, and that was four and a half years ago.”
A blonde was in the bathroom and about to use shampoo she had never used before. She yelled to her husband, “I don’t know what to do with this new shampoo. It says it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”
A man went into an ice cream shop and asked the blonde lady what flavors they had.
She replied, “Vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.” She wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
“Do you have laryngitis?” The young man asked sympathetically. “Nope” she whispered, “Just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.”
In 1795, two new stars and stripes were added to the original U.S. flag. They were for new states, Vermont, and our own state of Kentucky.
Many of you will remember the comedian Will Rogers. Who was he named for?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to. — Roscoe Dunjee
- Lifestyles & Community
Victory through Stratagems: the Allied Invasion of Normandy France on June 6th 1944
Dr. Ralph Thompson a former chemistry professor at Eastern Kentucky University spoke on the “Deceptions of WWII” to the Central Kentucky World War II Roundtable.
When will the ordeal finally be over?
I was just thinking about the ordeal I’ve been going through since Sept. 19.
Life in Stringtown was full of hard work, simple pleasures
I had a chance to visit recently with an old friend, Alene Perkins Long.
Burning bridges and the importance of relationships
“Congratulations on your new job!” You tell a co-worker who announced she would be leaving in a couple of weeks. “Where are you going?” You ask her.
“I’ve landed a job that will put this place to shame! I am so excited about leaving here. This is going to be a great chance to advance my career,” the co-worker tells you.
Ensuring children develop a habit brushing their teeth
“Are you sure you brushed your teeth?” the father asked his son. His son solemnly nodded. His father said, “Let me smell your breath.” The son obligingly opened his mouth. Finally, the father said, “I need to check and see if your toothbrush is wet.”
This type of exchange happens in many households as children often do not brush their teeth, even when told to do so. This nightly inquisition can occur less frequently if parents establish a habit in their children to brush their teeth.
Saturated fat consumption leads to abdominal fat
New research from Uppsala University shows that eating more saturated fat in the diet causes an increase in the amount of fat stored in the abdominal area in comparison with extra consumption of polyunsaturated fat.
County’s oldest consignment sale begins today
The Little Ones’ Consignment Sale, Madison County’s oldest semi-annual sale of its kind, is open to the public 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. today (Friday) and 8 a.m. to noon Saturday at the multi-ministry center behind United Methodist Church, West Main Street, Richmond. Marked items are half price on Saturday.
There’s more to do at the Village Trough
“I wish there was more to do here.”
Do you ever find yourself saying this sentence as you sit there bored out of your mind? Have you heard others ask it?
Well, there is something more to do now that Village Trough in Berea is staging shows with local and regional talent and preparing to open as a full dining and entertainment venue.
Let’s have a Mardi Gras party in Kentucky
It’s the time of year when the people in New Orleans celebrate a festival called Mardi Gras. Many states now do the same. Some call it “Fat Tuesday” which I have never understood till I went to New Orleans (five times) and saw all of the excitement for myself.
Beat the winter blues with meatballs
When it’s this cold outside it’s nice to warm up with some good comfort food.
I can think of few things more wonderful than the smell of simmering meatballs coming from the kitchen while I cuddle with my two young children, and a few good books, on a brisk winter day.
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- Victory through Stratagems: the Allied Invasion of Normandy France on June 6th 1944