I was just thinking the other day about blondes. I know that doesn’t surprise anyone who reads this column on a regular basis.
I honestly believe the columns my readers enjoy most are the ones about blondes. I’ve been amazed at the number of readers who’ve asked, “When will we see another blonde column?”
A blonde had a problem with her computer and called a tech support person for assistance.
She told him she couldn’t print yellow. All other colors worked just fine.
He had her change the color print cartridge, and she told him she still couldn’t get it to print yellow. After nearly two hours of assistance over the phone, he considered having her send it in for repair. She then asked, “Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?”
A blonde was a new employee at a firm and she called the help desk and told them she was having a problem with her password.
It seemed to be unusual because every time she typed the password, stars would show up on the monitor rather than the letters she was using. The help desk technician told her those were to protect her in case someone was looking over her shoulder and trying to learn her password.
“Yeah” she said, “but they show up even when no one is standing behind me.”
A blonde took her goldfish to a veterinarian. The vet looked at the fish and said, “ It looks OK to me.” The blonde insisted she believed the fish was suffering from epilepsy.
The Vet said, “It seems calm enough to me, why do you say that?” The blonde answered, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.”
A blonde arrived home from work one afternoon and as she stepped up to her door, she noticed a very large envelope lying in front of the door. The words “DO NOT BEND” were prominently displayed on it.
She spent the next two hours attempting to figure out how to pick it up.
A blonde and her husband were making plans for Christmas. The husband said, “Christmas is on Friday this year.” The blonde then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
Some tourists were visiting the Chicago Museum of Natural History. One of then asked the blonde guide, “How old are these dinosaur bones?” The blonde guide answered, “They are three million, four years and six months old.”
“That’s an awfully exact number,” said the tourist. “How do you know their age so precisely?”
The blonde answered, “The dinosaur bones were four million years old when I came to work here, and that was four and a half years ago.”
A blonde was in the bathroom and about to use shampoo she had never used before. She yelled to her husband, “I don’t know what to do with this new shampoo. It says it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”
A man went into an ice cream shop and asked the blonde lady what flavors they had.
She replied, “Vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.” She wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
“Do you have laryngitis?” The young man asked sympathetically. “Nope” she whispered, “Just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.”
In 1795, two new stars and stripes were added to the original U.S. flag. They were for new states, Vermont, and our own state of Kentucky.
Many of you will remember the comedian Will Rogers. Who was he named for?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Some people succeed because they are destined to, but most people succeed because they are determined to. — Roscoe Dunjee
- Lifestyles & Community
Boost your energy without caffeine
When your energy level starts nose-diving in mid-afternoon, do you reach for a cup of java or that canned energy drink for help?
If so, you’re like a growing number of American men and women. In one recent USDA report, women in their 30s consume about 165 milligrams of caffeine each day, but by age 50, the daily average climbs to 225 milligrams.
While the cup of daily coffee isn’t bad ― the antioxidants in java are good for you ― a half dozen cups a day can be. Not only that, it’s like putting a bandage on the problem. Instead, combat your fatigue with these energy boosters.
Dream becomes reality only when you persevere
A young boy grew up in Berea, in a family that was blessed with a variety of musical talents.
His mother was a member of a female group who performed onstage regularly at Renfro Valley, in Rockcastle County.
This young man would routinely attend shows to watch his mother, and other artists, perform on stage. He was eager to learn from them every chance he could. He knew from a young age he wanted to pursue a career in the music industry and was willing to seek advice and mentoring from those who were experienced in the industry.
’Tis the season for giving
There is a feeling of pride that wells up in all parents when they see their children giving something of theirs to another person. It is all the more poignant when children are giving something that they greatly value and reflects a significant sacrifice on their part.
Young children are often looking for ways to contribute and help others’ out. The trick for parents is to have children continue their giving behaviors as they get older.
Moving to Richmond was the right decision
I was just thinking the other day about a decision I made 30 years ago that was definitely right.
I answered the call of First Baptist Church in Richmond to serve as its minister of music. My first Sunday in that position was Nov. 27, 1983.
The shopping frenzy cuts into Thanksgiving
Anyone who was out this weekend, whether to join in the bargain hunt or out of necessity, met with heavy traffic and people on a mission. Some in a great holiday mood and some frustrated with it all.
I heard a lot of talk about the days when the “blue law” that kept businesses closed on Sunday was in effect. This law came about in colonial times to keep a “rigid religious standard.” But as time progressed, it was shown that those not necessarily religious liked the idea, too, as a family day and day of rest from a busy world.
Does first Thanksgiving compare our observance?
I have done some research on what our forefathers actually ate on the first Thanksgiving in America. This is probably what happened.
Prepare your home for the holiday
Reading “The Night Before Christmas” has always been one of my favorite holiday traditions. In the poem the family has prepared for a visit from St. Nicholas with stockings hung by the chimney with care. The chimney must have been clean because Santa came down it with no trouble, just a little ashes and soot on his fur.
Difficult ordeal made easier by caring friends
I was just thinking the other day about a number of things related to my broken hip and that were happy experiences rather than difficult ones.
Resistance to change prevents opportunities
“I heard we may be getting a new computer system installed” a co-worker shares with you. “I heard the changes to the system may be pretty big. I don’t know if I can learn a whole new system again. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that we had to upgrade to this one.”
St. Mark Christmas Bazaar Dec. 7
St. Mark's Christmas Bazaar will be held on Saturday, Dec. 7, from 8:30 a.m. - 2 p.m. One of the favorite items, the Cookie Trays, a glass plate filled with delicious homemade cookies and decorated with holiday flair will again be available as will tables of other baked goods including pies, cakes, coffeecakes, fruitbreads, candy, and homemade bread. Jams, jellies and pickles will add to the goodies that will tempt your palate. There will also be craft items and a silent auction of two wooden angels, nearly life-size and handcrafted by parishioner Don Fourre, that will be a bargain. What would be a better time than now to purchase them to decorate the front of your home.
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