The Richmond Register

April 14, 2014

We old folks have unique experiences

By Dick Ham
Register Columnist


A friend sent this to me by e-mail, and I thought my readers would enjoy it.

A young lady was jogging one day in her neighborhood when she passed a house with an exceptionally well-kept flower garden. She slowed down to admire the colorful, fragrant blooms. Peeking through the yard’s picket fence, she spied an elderly lady kneeling in one of the beds.

The jogger stopped and called, “Good morning,” to the gardener. “I just want to say how much I admire your garden.”

“Well,” the elderly woman frowned as she pulled herself up, “it’s getting harder and harder to take care of, you know.”

“But you do a beautiful job,” the jogger called.

“Not like I used to,” The woman shook her head and frowned. “My arthritis kicks in, and I just can’t get to everything I want to do. You should have seen it 20 years ago.

The young woman persisted in her praise for the gardener whose handiwork brightened the entire block.

The gardener, not to be budged from her negative attitude continued to air her complaints. Finally the jogger broke in. “Well, you have to admit,” she said with a smile, “it’s better to be up here on earth looking down on the flowers than to be under the earth staring at their roots.”

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, an elderly man and his wife were told there would be a 45 minute wait for a table.

“Young man, we’re both 90 years old,” the husband said. We may not have 45 minutes.”

They were seated immediately.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians could be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Bubba came running into the store and said to his buddy Earl, “Somebody stole your pickup from the parking lot.”

Earl asked Bubba, “Did y’all see who it was?”

Bubba answered, “No, but I got the license number.”

It’s a sure sign your age is showing when:

• People start telling you how good you look

• History students start interviewing you for eye-witness reports

• You’re not ticketed for speeding but pulled over for driving too slow.

After the elderly couple arrived at the lake for a weekend away, the wife exclaimed, “Oh honey! We must go back home right now! I’m afraid I left the iron on and it will start a fire.”

“Don’t worry abut it dear,” the husband replied, “I just remembered I left the water running in the kitchen sink.”


On March 10, 1971 the U.S. Senate lowered the voting age to 18.


What historic event took place on January 31, 1958?


“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.

— Victor Hugo