By Dick Ham
I was just thinking the other day about my favorite people: Blondes. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I had done a blonde column until I began to get questions from my readers and even notes in the mail and many e-mail messages asking, “When will we see more blonde stories?”
A husband was looking through the days’ mail and found a notice from their bank. He said to his blonde wife, “The bank has returned the last check you wrote.” She replied, “Good, what can we spend it for now?”
A lovely blonde was being courted by a man who was an avid hunter and outdoorsman. The first time he took her to his house, she discovered he had the heads of numerous animals mounted on his walls. She inquired as to why he had all those. His reply was, “I think they are all so beautiful.” She replied, “I think my mother is beautiful, but I just have her picture on my wall.”
A blonde who had a very high soprano voice sang in the choir at her church. All of a sudden, she refused to sing anymore. When questioned about it, she explained, “I was absent one Sunday and several church members asked if the organ had been repaired.”
During the wedding ceremony of a man and his blonde bride, the minister asked, “Do you take this woman for your wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health?” The blonde bride interrupted him and said, “Just a minute Pastor! If you don’t stop you’ll talk him right out of it.”
The newly-wed couple were sitting in their den one evening and the husband said to his blonde wife, “Honey, here is a notice from our bank that says we are overdrawn.” The blonde suggested, “Try another bank, they can’t all be overdrawn.”
A blonde had applied for a job as a secretary. The man who was conducting the interview asked her how long she had worked at her previous job. She answered, “55 years.” “How is that possible” he asked, ”Since you are only 45 years old?” Her reply, “I worked a lot of overtime.”
Another blonde was being interviewed for a job, and the interviewer said, “This job demands a person who is very responsible.” She said, “Oh, I fit that description perfectly. In my previous job, every time something happened they said I was responsible.”
A blonde secretary was habitually late. One day, she arrived at her work place only 5 minutes late. Her boss congratulated her, he said, “This is the earliest you’ve ever been late.”
A boss congratulated his blonde secretary when he said, “I’ve just been reading this letter you typed. Your typing is really improving there are only seven mistakes here. Now let’s look at the second line.”
A blonde was on an airline flight for the first time. She was very nervous and expressed her fear to the man sitting next to her. He suggested that she ask the flight attendant for a drink. She finished the drink and was still shaking. He told her that if she wanted another drink, to press the button that was overhead. She immediately stood, held her glass under the button and pressed it.
Trivia Answer –
Country singer Tom T. Hall is a native of Olive Hill, Kentucky.
Trivia Question –
What 1818 residence was the inspiration for Stephen Foster’s “My Old Kentucky Home?”
Thought for the day –
If it goes without saying – then let it go.