The Richmond Register

April 29, 2013

Blondes are still my favorite people

Just Thinking

By Dick Ham
Register Columnist

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about my favorite people, blondes.

I began to think about them because so many of my readers have inquired as to when they will see another blonde column.

A couple was going through a very tough time financially. They kept a positive attitude by reminding themselves that as long as they had each other everything would be all right; they really didn’t need anything else.

Unfortunately, the television and radio in their bedroom both broke within a few days of each other. When that happened, the blonde wife really lost it.

“That’s just great,” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all.”

A couple was making plans for a fall vacation. They decided they would go to a mountain campground.

The husband, as he was leaving for work one morning, said to his blonde wife, “Sweetheart, call the campground and make us a reservation.”

After he was gone she placed the call. When the manager of the campground answered she asked, “Sir, can you tell me when the leaves will change color?”

A blonde who had been smoking for years keeled over one day at work, clutching her heart. They rushed her to a hospital, and when she arrived they began to question her.

“Do you smoke?” A paramedic asked. “No,” she whispered, “I quit.”

“That’s good,” the paramedic said, “When did you quit”

“About an hour ago,” was her reply.

A blonde had always wanted a beautiful shawl to wear with her winter dresses. When she opened a Christmas gift from her sister, she squealed with delight when she found a white-and-silver shawl.

“I love it.” She told her sister that evening. “I wore it all morning.”

“You wore it?” The sister exclaimed. “It’s a skirt for your Christmas tree.”

Fire alarms were blaring at an apartment complex. A blonde who lived there grabbed her favorite bathing suit and ran out.

“Why in the world, with all the priceless things you had in your apartment, would you choose to save a bathing suit?” A friend asked.

The blonde replied, “Material things come and go, but a one piece suit that doesn’t make you look fat is impossible to replace.”

A blonde was shopping in a clothing store and had difficulty understanding why she had to pay so much for her purchase.

“I got this from the 15 to 35 percent off rack,” she complained. “And I pick 35 percent.”

A blonde bought an AM radio. It took her several months before she realized she could use it in the afternoon.

A blonde applied for a job at a citrus grove. The foreman asked her, “Do you have any experience picking lemons?”

“Well,” she answered. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

TRIVIA ANSWER — The noted pioneer and scout whose home and grave are in Taos, New Mexico, is none other than Richmond native Christopher “Kit” Carson.

TRIVIA QUESTION — What southern capital is often referred to as the Protestant Vatican?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY — “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball