The Richmond Register

Lifestyles & Community

April 29, 2013

Blondes are still my favorite people

Just Thinking

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about my favorite people, blondes.

I began to think about them because so many of my readers have inquired as to when they will see another blonde column.

A couple was going through a very tough time financially. They kept a positive attitude by reminding themselves that as long as they had each other everything would be all right; they really didn’t need anything else.

Unfortunately, the television and radio in their bedroom both broke within a few days of each other. When that happened, the blonde wife really lost it.

“That’s just great,” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all.”

A couple was making plans for a fall vacation. They decided they would go to a mountain campground.

The husband, as he was leaving for work one morning, said to his blonde wife, “Sweetheart, call the campground and make us a reservation.”

After he was gone she placed the call. When the manager of the campground answered she asked, “Sir, can you tell me when the leaves will change color?”

A blonde who had been smoking for years keeled over one day at work, clutching her heart. They rushed her to a hospital, and when she arrived they began to question her.

“Do you smoke?” A paramedic asked. “No,” she whispered, “I quit.”

“That’s good,” the paramedic said, “When did you quit”

“About an hour ago,” was her reply.

A blonde had always wanted a beautiful shawl to wear with her winter dresses. When she opened a Christmas gift from her sister, she squealed with delight when she found a white-and-silver shawl.

“I love it.” She told her sister that evening. “I wore it all morning.”

“You wore it?” The sister exclaimed. “It’s a skirt for your Christmas tree.”

Fire alarms were blaring at an apartment complex. A blonde who lived there grabbed her favorite bathing suit and ran out.

“Why in the world, with all the priceless things you had in your apartment, would you choose to save a bathing suit?” A friend asked.

The blonde replied, “Material things come and go, but a one piece suit that doesn’t make you look fat is impossible to replace.”

A blonde was shopping in a clothing store and had difficulty understanding why she had to pay so much for her purchase.

“I got this from the 15 to 35 percent off rack,” she complained. “And I pick 35 percent.”

A blonde bought an AM radio. It took her several months before she realized she could use it in the afternoon.

A blonde applied for a job at a citrus grove. The foreman asked her, “Do you have any experience picking lemons?”

“Well,” she answered. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

TRIVIA ANSWER — The noted pioneer and scout whose home and grave are in Taos, New Mexico, is none other than Richmond native Christopher “Kit” Carson.

TRIVIA QUESTION — What southern capital is often referred to as the Protestant Vatican?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY — “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

1
Text Only
Lifestyles & Community
  • Bee on the lookout as beekeepers convene

    Summer vacation season is in full swing, and I had the pleasure of spending the last week and a half filling in at the Farm Store while the store manager, Bethany Pratt, got a welcome respite soaking up the beauty of Ireland.

    July 30, 2014

  • Amanda-Sears-c.jpg Cicada-killer wasps are here

    The extension office has received numerous phone calls over the past couple of weeks about large wasps hovering in yards all over the county.
    This insect is called the cicada killer, and despite its aggressive name, it is not something to be scared of.

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • Brandon-Sears-c.jpg Converting from year-round calving to a controlled breeding season

    Maintaining a controlled breeding and calving season can be one of the most important management tools for cow-calf producers.
    Uniform, heavier and more valuable calves are key reasons to keep the breeding season short.

    July 29, 2014 1 Photo

  • 7-29 Nostalgia-Glenmore.jpg Paper boys learned life, business lessons

    I often flash back to the days from the mid to late 1930s when I was a paper boy.
    There were 10 or 12 of us who rolled out of bed at 5 a.m. every day, jumped on our bicycles and headed downtown to the Glyndon Hotel and picked up our papers for delivery.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg Here’s why teachers aren’t paid enough

    The following were included in last year’s exams and were answered by 16-year-old high school students. The answers are genuine, and we must remember that these youngsters will grow up to vote, marry and become parents. It’s a scary thought.

    July 28, 2014 1 Photo

  • 7-24 4-H Entries 1.jpg 4-H exhibits are family affair for the Houstons

    Five children from the same family were the first to bring their 4-H exhibits Wednesday to the Madison County Fairgrounds.

    July 24, 2014 5 Photos

  • 7-22 Band Camp 1.jpg Band students ‛take over’ MCHS campus

    The Madison Central High School campus has been “taken over” for two weeks by 170 students attending band camp.

    July 21, 2014 6 Photos

  • Dr-Jack-Rutherford.jpg Warning labels needed on energy drinks

    The popularity of energy drinks has soared since they entered the marketplace, but at least one consumer group wants the FDA to order warnings on product labels.

    July 18, 2014 1 Photo

  • Donna-Moberly.jpg Full Gospel ‛Back to School Bash’ is Aug. 2

    Hello everyone.
    I guess everyone is asking, “How much rain did we get?”

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Katie-Rollins.jpg Thank the Lord for the rain

    Hello readers, it’s a stormy Monday evening as I write this, and I’ve been thanking the Lord all day for the good rain – over an inch in the gauge now, and it looks like more before morning.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
Texas Scientists Study Ebola Virus Smartphone Powered Paper Plane Debuts at Airshow Southern Accent Reduction Class Cancelled in TN Raw: Deadly Landslide Hits Indian Village Obama Chides House GOP for Pursuing Lawsuit New Bill Aims to Curb Sexual Assault on Campus Russia Counts Cost of New US, EU Sanctions 3Doodler Bring 3-D Printing to Your Hand Six PA Cops Indicted for Robbing Drug Dealers Britain Testing Driverless Cars on Roadways Raw: Thousands Flocking to German Crop Circle At Least 20 Chikungunya Cases in New Jersey Raw: Obama Eats Ribs in Kansas City In Virginia, the Rise of a New Space Coast Raw: Otters Enjoy Water Slides at Japan Zoo NCAA Settles Head-injury Suit, Will Change Rules Raw: Amphibious Landing Practice in Hawaii Raw: Weapons Fire Hits UN School in Gaza Raw: Rocket Launches Into Space With Cargo Ship Broken Water Main Floods UCLA
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Poll

Should Madison County’s three local governing bodies ban smoking in indoor public places?

Yes
No
     View Results