The Richmond Register

Lifestyles & Community

April 29, 2013

Blondes are still my favorite people

Just Thinking

RICHMOND — I was just thinking the other day about my favorite people, blondes.

I began to think about them because so many of my readers have inquired as to when they will see another blonde column.

A couple was going through a very tough time financially. They kept a positive attitude by reminding themselves that as long as they had each other everything would be all right; they really didn’t need anything else.

Unfortunately, the television and radio in their bedroom both broke within a few days of each other. When that happened, the blonde wife really lost it.

“That’s just great,” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all.”

A couple was making plans for a fall vacation. They decided they would go to a mountain campground.

The husband, as he was leaving for work one morning, said to his blonde wife, “Sweetheart, call the campground and make us a reservation.”

After he was gone she placed the call. When the manager of the campground answered she asked, “Sir, can you tell me when the leaves will change color?”

A blonde who had been smoking for years keeled over one day at work, clutching her heart. They rushed her to a hospital, and when she arrived they began to question her.

“Do you smoke?” A paramedic asked. “No,” she whispered, “I quit.”

“That’s good,” the paramedic said, “When did you quit”

“About an hour ago,” was her reply.

A blonde had always wanted a beautiful shawl to wear with her winter dresses. When she opened a Christmas gift from her sister, she squealed with delight when she found a white-and-silver shawl.

“I love it.” She told her sister that evening. “I wore it all morning.”

“You wore it?” The sister exclaimed. “It’s a skirt for your Christmas tree.”

Fire alarms were blaring at an apartment complex. A blonde who lived there grabbed her favorite bathing suit and ran out.

“Why in the world, with all the priceless things you had in your apartment, would you choose to save a bathing suit?” A friend asked.

The blonde replied, “Material things come and go, but a one piece suit that doesn’t make you look fat is impossible to replace.”

A blonde was shopping in a clothing store and had difficulty understanding why she had to pay so much for her purchase.

“I got this from the 15 to 35 percent off rack,” she complained. “And I pick 35 percent.”

A blonde bought an AM radio. It took her several months before she realized she could use it in the afternoon.

A blonde applied for a job at a citrus grove. The foreman asked her, “Do you have any experience picking lemons?”

“Well,” she answered. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

TRIVIA ANSWER — The noted pioneer and scout whose home and grave are in Taos, New Mexico, is none other than Richmond native Christopher “Kit” Carson.

TRIVIA QUESTION — What southern capital is often referred to as the Protestant Vatican?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY — “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

1
Text Only
Lifestyles & Community
  • Brandon-Sears-c.jpg Beef Cattle Association field day is Thursday

    Make plans to attend the Madison County Beef Cattle Association field day on Thursday from 5 to 7:30 p.m. The event will take place at the farm of Dr. Eugene Bowling, 1437 Barnes Mill Road in Richmond. Signs will be posted.
    This meeting qualifies as a CAIP educational component.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • 04.23 JessaTurner1.jpg Eat local and eat with the seasons

    This week marks the 44th anniversary of Earth Day, and what could be more important to our survival than clean air, clean water and clean food?

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Amanda-Sears-c.jpg Proper care enables planting of Easter lilies

    Did you receive or purchase an Easter lily? If so, be sure to treat it right and you will be able to plant it outside this spring.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Lisa Adams.jpg 4-H Camping Season Nears

    Hopefully, we have seen the last of the snow for the year, so now is the time for young people and their parents to begin making plans for an annual summer ritual, 4-H Camp.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg These things cause me concern for the future

    I was just thinking the other day about things that are happening in this country that do not bode well for the future.

    April 22, 2014 1 Photo

  • WP_20140419_001.jpg Cruisin’ with the Oldies

    With the sound of classic songs wafting through the air Saturday, hundreds of people took advantage of the summer-like temperatures and turned out for the Kirksville Community Center car show.

    April 21, 2014 9 Photos

  • 04.18 Food .jpg It’s egg party time

    I love this time of the year because eggs really do go down in price during the Easter season. I have some new recipes on how to fix eggs besides the coloring part.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • 04.18 Steaks.jpg Where’s the beef?

    Today, the American consumer has more money to spend on the widest variety of foods than at any other time in our history.

    April 18, 2014 2 Photos

  • 4.15 Eggstravaganza 1.jpg Easter bunny's ‛eggbeater’ will fly eggs to Richmond

    Who knew the Easter bunny could fly?

    Skeptics can come to the Easter Eggstravaganza in Richmond’s Irvine-McDowell Park on Saturday to see for themselves. However, the bunny still doesn’t fly in bad weather. But on Monday, temperatures in the 60s with partly cloudy skies were predicted for Saturday.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dick-Ham.jpg We old folks have unique experiences

    A friend sent this to me by e-mail, and I thought my readers would enjoy it.

    April 14, 2014 1 Photo

AP Video
SKorea Ferry Toll Hits 156, Search Gets Tougher Video Shows Possible Syrian Gas Attack Cubs Superfans Celebrate Wrigley's 100th Raw: Cattle Truck Overturns in Texas Admirers Flock to Dole During Kansas Homecoming Raw: Erupting Volcanoes in Guatemala and Peru Alibaba IPO Could Be Largest Ever for Tech Firm FBI Joining Probe of Suburban NY 'Swatting' Call U.S. Paratroopers in Poland, Amid Ukraine Crisis US Reviews Clemency for Certain Inmates Raw: Violence Erupts in Rio Near Olympic Venue Raw: Deadly Bombing in Egypt Raw: What's Inside a Commercial Jet Wheel Well Raw: Obama Arrives in Japan for State Visit Raw: Anti-Obama Activists Fight Manila Police Motels Near Disney Fighting Homeless Problem Michigan Man Sees Thanks to 'bionic Eye' S.C. Man Apologizes for Naked Walk in Wal-Mart Chief Mate: Crew Told to Escape After Passengers
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Poll

Should Richmond rezone the southwest corner of Main Street and Tates Creek Avenue to B-1 (Neighborhood Business) with restrictions to allow construction of a financial services office?

Yes
No
     View Results