I was just thinking the other day about blondes. I know that doesn’t surprise my regular readers, even though it has been awhile since I’ve done a blonde column.
I was in a gathering a few days ago and four different people inquired as to when they would see another blonde column.
A newlywed couple purchased a mobile home. The blonde bride was thrilled to learn that it included a washing machine. The first day her husband returned from work, she met him at the door with very sad news. She said, “Honey, that washing machine doesn’t work. I put some pants in, pulled the chain, and I haven’t seen the pants since.”
A blonde was shopping in a clothing store. She couldn’t understand why her purchase should cost so much. “I got this from the 15 to 35 percent off rack, and I choose 35 percent.
A young man gave his blonde girlfriend a very nice AM radio. It took her several weeks before she realized she could play it in the PM.
A lady purchased a thriving rosebush, and she was forced to return it to the store. The blonde sales clerk, asked, “Is something the matter?” The lady handed her a mass of brown sticks and said, “It’s dead.”
The blonde clerk examined the former flora thoroughly, then smiled pleasantly before asking, “And is there anything else wrong with it?”
A blonde was struggling with her computer. She told a friend, “I just don’t think I have the aptitude for this.”
Her friend answered, “They’re easy to use these days, a lot of times the only thing you must do is “Press Any Key.”
“That’s my problem,” the blonde answered, “I can never find the ANY KEY.”
A young couple was about to buy an electric grill and put it on a credit card. They struggled with whether to buy the economy model or the deluxe unit that had every imaginable convenience.
The husband said, “Let’s go ahead and get the expensive one.” The blonde wife said, “It really won’t cost us any more. We’ll just have to pay longer.”
A blonde joined a health spa and on her first visit was putting on her shoes to begin exercising. A friend sitting next to her asked, why do you have TGIF on the toes of your shoes, do you need to be reminded that it’s Friday. The blonde answered, “That doesn’t tell me it’s Friday, that tells me, toes go in first.”
A girl said to her blonde friend, “I think your boyfriend is really cute, his wavy hair and blue eyes are super.”
The blonde answered, “Yes, and he has a twin.”
“Really, can you tell them apart easily?”
The blonde replied, “Well if you look close, you’ll notice his sister’s a brunette and a little shorter than him.”
A blonde received a notice that she had a parcel to pick up at the post office. She went to the office and the clerk spent several minutes searching for the package. He came back with a very large manila envelope that was severely damaged. He said, “I think this may be yours, but the name is obliterated.”
“It’s not mine then,” the blonde answered, “My name is Smith.”
Georgetown College was established in 1829.
What Comedy team has made more movies than any other team?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
When you feel that everything in your life has gone south, you can boost your morale with this saying: “From the day you are born till you ride in a hearse, there is nothing so bad that it couldn’t get worse.”
— Nannie Bett Hensley
- Lifestyles & Community
Victory through Stratagems: the Allied Invasion of Normandy France on June 6th 1944
Dr. Ralph Thompson a former chemistry professor at Eastern Kentucky University spoke on the “Deceptions of WWII” to the Central Kentucky World War II Roundtable.
When will the ordeal finally be over?
I was just thinking about the ordeal I’ve been going through since Sept. 19.
Life in Stringtown was full of hard work, simple pleasures
I had a chance to visit recently with an old friend, Alene Perkins Long.
Burning bridges and the importance of relationships
“Congratulations on your new job!” You tell a co-worker who announced she would be leaving in a couple of weeks. “Where are you going?” You ask her.
“I’ve landed a job that will put this place to shame! I am so excited about leaving here. This is going to be a great chance to advance my career,” the co-worker tells you.
Ensuring children develop a habit brushing their teeth
“Are you sure you brushed your teeth?” the father asked his son. His son solemnly nodded. His father said, “Let me smell your breath.” The son obligingly opened his mouth. Finally, the father said, “I need to check and see if your toothbrush is wet.”
This type of exchange happens in many households as children often do not brush their teeth, even when told to do so. This nightly inquisition can occur less frequently if parents establish a habit in their children to brush their teeth.
Saturated fat consumption leads to abdominal fat
New research from Uppsala University shows that eating more saturated fat in the diet causes an increase in the amount of fat stored in the abdominal area in comparison with extra consumption of polyunsaturated fat.
County’s oldest consignment sale begins today
The Little Ones’ Consignment Sale, Madison County’s oldest semi-annual sale of its kind, is open to the public 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. today (Friday) and 8 a.m. to noon Saturday at the multi-ministry center behind United Methodist Church, West Main Street, Richmond. Marked items are half price on Saturday.
There’s more to do at the Village Trough
“I wish there was more to do here.”
Do you ever find yourself saying this sentence as you sit there bored out of your mind? Have you heard others ask it?
Well, there is something more to do now that Village Trough in Berea is staging shows with local and regional talent and preparing to open as a full dining and entertainment venue.
Let’s have a Mardi Gras party in Kentucky
It’s the time of year when the people in New Orleans celebrate a festival called Mardi Gras. Many states now do the same. Some call it “Fat Tuesday” which I have never understood till I went to New Orleans (five times) and saw all of the excitement for myself.
Beat the winter blues with meatballs
When it’s this cold outside it’s nice to warm up with some good comfort food.
I can think of few things more wonderful than the smell of simmering meatballs coming from the kitchen while I cuddle with my two young children, and a few good books, on a brisk winter day.
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- Victory through Stratagems: the Allied Invasion of Normandy France on June 6th 1944