MADISON COUNTY —
I was just thinking the other day about some recent stories of the funny things that happen to those of us who are old. Have any of these happened to you?
An elderly lady was in the express checkout lane at the grocery store. Another lady in the line in front of her had completely ignored the rule with a buggy literally running over with purchases. Imagine the lady’s delight when the cashier beckoned the lady with the full cart to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “Which 10 of these items would you like to buy?”
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I only wish that happened everyday. I’ve been told by a manager that they don’t question shoppers for fear of making someone angry. My question for him was, “What about me, it makes me very angry when I must wait unnecessarily. Don’t I count?”
An elderly man, on his deathbed gasped pitifully to his wife, “Give me one last request, dear.” he said.
“Of course, John,” his wife said sweetly.
“Six months after I die,” John said, I want you to marry Bob.”
“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said.
With his last breath John said, “I do.”
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the lady replied, “Just how serious is my condition? This prescription is marked “NO REFILLS.”
Mrs. Walker’s doctor put her on a new diet to help her lose weight and avoid foods that are bad for her. She can eat anything she wants as long as she takes one bite and, if it tastes good, she must spit it out.
A health-care expert was addressing a large group of seniors.
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode the lining of your stomach. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me which food causes us the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
After several seconds of quiet, a 75 year old man in the front row raised his hand and softly said, “Wedding cake.”
The Kentucky city that is second only to New York City in it’s number of nineteenth-century stone and cast-iron buildings is Louisville.
In 1952 what Western Kentucky University quarterback was named an All-American?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
You know you’re getting old when you begin to wish rocking chairs were battery operated.
MADISON COUNTY —
- Lifestyles & Community
Burning bridges and the importance of relationships
“Congratulations on your new job!” You tell a co-worker who announced she would be leaving in a couple of weeks. “Where are you going?” You ask her.
“I’ve landed a job that will put this place to shame! I am so excited about leaving here. This is going to be a great chance to advance my career,” the co-worker tells you.
Ensuring children develop a habit brushing their teeth
“Are you sure you brushed your teeth?” the father asked his son. His son solemnly nodded. His father said, “Let me smell your breath.” The son obligingly opened his mouth. Finally, the father said, “I need to check and see if your toothbrush is wet.”
This type of exchange happens in many households as children often do not brush their teeth, even when told to do so. This nightly inquisition can occur less frequently if parents establish a habit in their children to brush their teeth.
Saturated fat consumption leads to abdominal fat
New research from Uppsala University shows that eating more saturated fat in the diet causes an increase in the amount of fat stored in the abdominal area in comparison with extra consumption of polyunsaturated fat.
County’s oldest consignment sale begins today
The Little Ones’ Consignment Sale, Madison County’s oldest semi-annual sale of its kind, is open to the public 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. today (Friday) and 8 a.m. to noon Saturday at the multi-ministry center behind United Methodist Church, West Main Street, Richmond. Marked items are half price on Saturday.
There’s more to do at the Village Trough
“I wish there was more to do here.”
Do you ever find yourself saying this sentence as you sit there bored out of your mind? Have you heard others ask it?
Well, there is something more to do now that Village Trough in Berea is staging shows with local and regional talent and preparing to open as a full dining and entertainment venue.
Let’s have a Mardi Gras party in Kentucky
It’s the time of year when the people in New Orleans celebrate a festival called Mardi Gras. Many states now do the same. Some call it “Fat Tuesday” which I have never understood till I went to New Orleans (five times) and saw all of the excitement for myself.
Beat the winter blues with meatballs
When it’s this cold outside it’s nice to warm up with some good comfort food.
I can think of few things more wonderful than the smell of simmering meatballs coming from the kitchen while I cuddle with my two young children, and a few good books, on a brisk winter day.
Taste test Thursday
The sun is shining, but the chill has returned, so I hope you made the most of the warm, sunny weather this weekend.
The spring greens are being as tentative as the warm temperatures, but there is talk of lettuce being harvested and a continued trickle of kale, pea shoots, miner’s lettuce and spinach. To make room for the spring harvests, winter squash and sweet potatoes have been marked down to $1/pound and pumpkins are only 50 cents/pound.
Buttercups in grazed pastures
One of the signs that spring has arrived is when the yellow flowers of buttercup begin to appear, but it’s during the winter months that the vegetative growth of buttercup takes place.
As a cool season weed, this plant often flourishes in overgrazed pasture fields with poor stands of desirable forages. In fact, many fields that have dense buttercup populations are fields heavily grazed by animals during the fall through the early spring months.
Make a difference this summer, volunteer at 4-H Camp
On June 30 more than 200 Madison County kids will load a bus headed for four days and three nights of fun at 4-H Summer Camp.
Campers will have a chance to hike, swim, dance and spend time learning about the environment, their friends and themselves.
And we need your help to make it possible!
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